Buckle up, we're going to Hell in a hand basket

 

PA

Russ Jones, "The Week in Tory"

1. The PM said he'd done nothing wrong, and had therefore apologised to the Queen for doing it.

2. He claimed he hadn't broken rules because nobody had told him the rules, which he wrote.

3. He said he'd have to wait for Sue Gray to tell him whether the gathering of people drinking booze from a suitcase and playing on his swing during a DJ set was a party.

4. He claimed it had taken him 25 minutes to realise this might not be a business meeting.

5. Dominic Cummings said he'd "swear under oath" Boris Johnson green-lit parties.

6. Dominic Raab said there hadn't been a party, and he should know, cause the party was in his honour.

7. And then Johnson hid in the back of a car, a fridge presumably not being readily available.

8. Downing Street said it was untrue the PM was warned ahead of the party.

9. Reports said Sue Gray had the email warning the PM ahead of the party

10. and Downing Street staff told newspapers it was "inconceivable" a party could have happened without Johnson' s approval.

11. The government launched Operation Red Meat, a dazzlingly successful exercise in limited and specific failure, which I present to you in the following sub-thread.

a) The government tweeted it was talking to Ghana about making our migrants go there for processing.

b) Ghana said this was complete bollocks, and called Johnson's Operation Red Meat "Operation Dead Meat".

c) The government deleted their Ghana tweet and pretended it didn't just happen.

d) The government said it was now entirely safe to lift Covid restrictions.

e) Then the government said we should excuse Johnson's behaviour - he was distracted because his child was very ill with that "entirely safe" Covid, which your kids must now risk without masks because FREEDOM

12. Dominic Raab said the Tory party was behind Johnson

13. Behind Johnson, David Davies stood up and told him to resign

14. Christian Wakefield defected to Labour

15. and 5 other Tories are reported to be considering defecting.

16. Government whips were accused of blackmailing MPs into supporting Johnson

17. In a bold challenge to logic, the government said they wouldn't look for evidence of this unless they found evidence.

18. 12 Tory MPs said it had happened to them

19. No, not that kind of evidence

20. MP Nusrat Ghani said she'd been sacked as a minister because she was told "Muslim women [made her] colleagues feel uncomfortable"

21. Chief whip Mark Spencer tweeted he never used the words attributed to him.

22. They hadn't been attributed to him.

23. He then deleted the tweet.

24. Then he wrote the tweet again, this time denying any such event had ever happened.

25. Then No10 said they had discussed the thing that didn't happen with Nusrat Ghani in July

I'll stop here, because this goes on and on...any more questions? Noch Fragen? Ich habe weitere 11 Punkte im Haupt- und 3 Punkte im sub-thread weggelassen, weil es sonst zu lang wird...